"So what you're saying is you've felt this way for the last four years."
Yes. That is what he's saying, or refusing to outright say, leaving Danny to put it out there, blunt, flat. On the edge of horrified, underneath it, a reaction he's trying to drag down and strangle, even while tumblers fall and lock into place in his head.
The end of him and Rachel. The beginning of him and Gabby, and the end of him and Gabby. Matt, and Reyes. Amber.
Every time Steve had ever tried to steer him in the direction of a pretty woman, or tried to talk him off a cliff, drowning in his own panic. Every time Steve convinced him that maybe this time, it would all work out. "I wasn't –"
Stopping, and starting again, because it seems like too much. Only a year longer than he'd been thinking, for the last hour or so, but it feels like so much more. Three years was bad enough. Four was unthinkable.
A full year before. A full year. He keeps rolling over it with a thump, like wheels on a speedbump. "You told me to go out with Gabby."
It's almost accusatory, but it's not meant to be. Not at Steve. At the time, it seemed like something a best friend would do. Especially a best friend who was annoyingly involved with his life, nosing about his business, right, it wasn't like it was out of character for Steve to push Danny into something that made him uncomfortable. Steve did that all the time. Until tonight, Danny would have written it off as the kind of thing Steve actively enjoyed.
Except that he'd been feeling like this. The whole time.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2015-11-18 01:55 am (UTC)"So what you're saying is you've felt this way for the last four years."
Yes. That is what he's saying, or refusing to outright say, leaving Danny to put it out there, blunt, flat. On the edge of horrified, underneath it, a reaction he's trying to drag down and strangle, even while tumblers fall and lock into place in his head.
The end of him and Rachel. The beginning of him and Gabby, and the end of him and Gabby. Matt, and Reyes. Amber.
Every time Steve had ever tried to steer him in the direction of a pretty woman, or tried to talk him off a cliff, drowning in his own panic. Every time Steve convinced him that maybe this time, it would all work out. "I wasn't –"
Stopping, and starting again, because it seems like too much. Only a year longer than he'd been thinking, for the last hour or so, but it feels like so much more. Three years was bad enough. Four was unthinkable.
A full year before. A full year. He keeps rolling over it with a thump, like wheels on a speedbump. "You told me to go out with Gabby."
It's almost accusatory, but it's not meant to be. Not at Steve. At the time, it seemed like something a best friend would do. Especially a best friend who was annoyingly involved with his life, nosing about his business, right, it wasn't like it was out of character for Steve to push Danny into something that made him uncomfortable. Steve did that all the time. Until tonight, Danny would have written it off as the kind of thing Steve actively enjoyed.
Except that he'd been feeling like this. The whole time.