There's no further comment from Steve, who seems to be sinking deeper, slow and steady, relaxing a little more with every breath, muscles like butter. Making Danny rub his thumb against and around his temple, where headaches always spike for him and it can be like pressing a button to switch them off. Even when Danny's not sure how well he'll be able to feel it, because Steve's breathing is evening out, deepening, and if he's not falling asleep right now, he will be soon, without moving and going back to some sort of action.
And maybe they should. Right? Clean up, get under sheets and blanket, find pillows, be comfortable, and sleep while they can, but he just doesn't think he has it in him to interrupt this, now. Steve sleeps like shit anyway, wakes up multiple times in the night, sometimes strung so tensely that Danny thinks he's going to snap something, and he gets up before the sun nine days out of ten, even after a late night bleeding into morning, even after sex and release and relaxation.
So, come on. It's not a crime to let Steve sleep while he can, right? This is comfortable enough, and they can move if they have to, like if his arm falls asleep or it gets too chilly in the air-conditioned room without sheets or blankets, but he's in no rush. What's the point? He'd just want to get back to this, anyway, and Steve's guard is down, right now, which means Danny can do things like run fingers through his hair, rub circles into his scalp, keep arms wrapped around him and pretend like this is normal and not because he couldn't stand the thought of Steve taken away. Like this isn't holding on, like he's not being disappointingly selfish.
But just a little while. It can't hurt. And Steve needs time to let go, to not worry, to feel something other than the weight of everything, every person unsaved, every lie that keeps getting told, every truth that keeps getting shattered.
This is simple, and it's not enough, but it's good. So he just settles his head a little more comfortably, fingers drawing idle circles, and doesn't say anything about moving.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2012-12-16 04:36 pm (UTC)And maybe they should. Right? Clean up, get under sheets and blanket, find pillows, be comfortable, and sleep while they can, but he just doesn't think he has it in him to interrupt this, now. Steve sleeps like shit anyway, wakes up multiple times in the night, sometimes strung so tensely that Danny thinks he's going to snap something, and he gets up before the sun nine days out of ten, even after a late night bleeding into morning, even after sex and release and relaxation.
So, come on. It's not a crime to let Steve sleep while he can, right? This is comfortable enough, and they can move if they have to, like if his arm falls asleep or it gets too chilly in the air-conditioned room without sheets or blankets, but he's in no rush. What's the point? He'd just want to get back to this, anyway, and Steve's guard is down, right now, which means Danny can do things like run fingers through his hair, rub circles into his scalp, keep arms wrapped around him and pretend like this is normal and not because he couldn't stand the thought of Steve taken away. Like this isn't holding on, like he's not being disappointingly selfish.
But just a little while. It can't hurt. And Steve needs time to let go, to not worry, to feel something other than the weight of everything, every person unsaved, every lie that keeps getting told, every truth that keeps getting shattered.
This is simple, and it's not enough, but it's good. So he just settles his head a little more comfortably, fingers drawing idle circles, and doesn't say anything about moving.