Danny backpedals hard and fast. The words catching in his throat and his face, and Steve almost wants to back down. But he doesn't. He isn't built for it. He was made to be a raging storm, taking out everything in his path, and he doesn't want to be stood up next to every person before him right this second. Not yet. Not naked and skin barely cooled. He doesn't want to have to look in the mirror and see that he's nothing like any of them. Want Danny to see it and --
He keeps talking. Too many words, that are Danny backing the hell off, without letting go or moving away. Not raising his voice, and suddenly apologizing. Not wanting a fight. When Steve knew that, but he couldn't stop himself. Even if he couldn't say why he went for Danny's throat. Crass and inverted. When that wasn't what Danny was doing. They weren't talking about other people Danny had sex with exactly. Or sex at all. Implicitly acknowledged in all those places, consenting adults and all, even children, but not flaunted.
It was meant to hurt, and Steve hates himself for it, as Danny apologizes suddenly. For not knowing. Not wanting to fight.
Those two words edged suddenly by Danny moving and then settling a hand against his skin. Somehow that one hurts, hits deeper, makes him hold more still than either of the two words. Like it's an even bigger apology. When it's Steve, not Danny, who should be apologizing. Who doesn't deserve any of this. Making something in Steve's throat become a boulder instead space, or air, or anything else normal. When he's tipped into it before he can stop himself. Head into hand, eyelids closing, as though pushing for the contact of his whole palm without even realizing it.
Even when he shakes his head, dragging in a breath through his nose and putting it right back out. Too heavy, but deep enough that he's actually breathing. At least for that one breath. That it's almost like a showcase before he says quieter but entirely set. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong."
no subject
Danny backpedals hard and fast. The words catching in his throat and his face, and Steve almost wants to back down. But he doesn't. He isn't built for it. He was made to be a raging storm, taking out everything in his path, and he doesn't want to be stood up next to every person before him right this second. Not yet. Not naked and skin barely cooled. He doesn't want to have to look in the mirror and see that he's nothing like any of them. Want Danny to see it and --
He keeps talking. Too many words, that are Danny backing the hell off, without letting go or moving away. Not raising his voice, and suddenly apologizing. Not wanting a fight. When Steve knew that, but he couldn't stop himself. Even if he couldn't say why he went for Danny's throat. Crass and inverted. When that wasn't what Danny was doing. They weren't talking about other people Danny had sex with exactly. Or sex at all. Implicitly acknowledged in all those places, consenting adults and all, even children, but not flaunted.
It was meant to hurt, and Steve hates himself for it, as Danny apologizes suddenly. For not knowing. Not wanting to fight.
Those two words edged suddenly by Danny moving and then settling a hand against his skin. Somehow that one hurts, hits deeper, makes him hold more still than either of the two words. Like it's an even bigger apology. When it's Steve, not Danny, who should be apologizing. Who doesn't deserve any of this. Making something in Steve's throat become a boulder instead space, or air, or anything else normal. When he's tipped into it before he can stop himself. Head into hand, eyelids closing, as though pushing for the contact of his whole palm without even realizing it.
Even when he shakes his head, dragging in a breath through his nose and putting it right back out. Too heavy, but deep enough that he's actually breathing. At least for that one breath. That it's almost like a showcase before he says quieter but entirely set. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong."