There's an impatient wave of one hand, abortive but necessary, and a slight frown at that comment, because it doesn't matter. Didn't then, if it happened at all, and certainly doesn't now. He might have been interested, in an academic and disbelieving sort of way, at another time, but there's no point in arguing it when he doesn't care and there's something so much worse to dig into.
More prevalent than any casual check-out at the beach, or at a coffee shop, or on the job. Someone who matters more than any other name Steve's dropped, or any random passer-by Steve suggested was interested in Danny. "What do you mean, Rachel?"
Because Steve is being stubborn, and dropped the name, and insinuation, without clarification or any apparent intention of explaining, while Danny's frown deepens, because Rachel...Rachel has never left, and she's never not been, or not going to be, part of his life, part of the decisions he makes, but he hasn't been with her since...
"It's been four years since I was with Rachel."
Four years. Not three.
Which means that Steve meant fours years, and not three, downstairs. That this has been going on for so much longer than Danny's had this suit, and longer, even, by almost a year, than Danny himself had any real clue of what his feelings meant, what they were.
Which means that Steve was hiding this all from him for a full year longer than Danny was. Which means that Steve was feeling all this during Rachel, which stabs into Danny with so much guilt and self-horror that he can feel the muscles of his abdominal wall clutching as if it were an actual blade sliding in.
Rachel. Gabby. Amber. All his failed attempts. All the conversations he had with Steve during them, when Steve did nothing but push him towards them, tried to convince him that things could turn out all right, for the first time ever. That he should try.
Steve was the one who pushed him towards Gabby to begin with. The one who listened when Rachel broke his heart, again. Who has done nothing but support and coax and sympathize with him, through it all.
Except he didn't mean any of it? Because he wanted this, instead?
no subject
There's an impatient wave of one hand, abortive but necessary, and a slight frown at that comment, because it doesn't matter. Didn't then, if it happened at all, and certainly doesn't now. He might have been interested, in an academic and disbelieving sort of way, at another time, but there's no point in arguing it when he doesn't care and there's something so much worse to dig into.
More prevalent than any casual check-out at the beach, or at a coffee shop, or on the job. Someone who matters more than any other name Steve's dropped, or any random passer-by Steve suggested was interested in Danny. "What do you mean, Rachel?"
Because Steve is being stubborn, and dropped the name, and insinuation, without clarification or any apparent intention of explaining, while Danny's frown deepens, because Rachel...Rachel has never left, and she's never not been, or not going to be, part of his life, part of the decisions he makes, but he hasn't been with her since...
"It's been four years since I was with Rachel."
Four years. Not three.
Which means that Steve meant fours years, and not three, downstairs. That this has been going on for so much longer than Danny's had this suit, and longer, even, by almost a year, than Danny himself had any real clue of what his feelings meant, what they were.
Which means that Steve was hiding this all from him for a full year longer than Danny was. Which means that Steve was feeling all this during Rachel, which stabs into Danny with so much guilt and self-horror that he can feel the muscles of his abdominal wall clutching as if it were an actual blade sliding in.
Rachel. Gabby. Amber. All his failed attempts. All the conversations he had with Steve during them, when Steve did nothing but push him towards them, tried to convince him that things could turn out all right, for the first time ever. That he should try.
Steve was the one who pushed him towards Gabby to begin with. The one who listened when Rachel broke his heart, again. Who has done nothing but support and coax and sympathize with him, through it all.
Except he didn't mean any of it? Because he wanted this, instead?
Because he wanted Danny?