haole_cop: by followtomorrow (eh?)
Detective Danny Williams ([personal profile] haole_cop) wrote 2012-12-04 01:18 am (UTC)

It's confusing. Seriously. When Steve looks like he's almost about to smile, and Danny knows it's the kind of smile that's going to try and crack his heart in half, because Steve, for all the shit he's been through, that the world has thrown at him, he still has this one smile, that's just as perfect and pure as a kid's, that gets Danny every single time. And he's edging towards it now, and Danny's bracing himself for the undertow that smile brings with it, before it abruptly changes, shifts, pulls the other way, as Steve's fingers tighten: on his side, on his jaw. Almost accusing, like he wants to shake the answer out of Danny like change shakes out of a pair of pants.

Which is...what? Really, what is going on? Danny can't keep track. First Steve made fun of him for being jealous, then implied that he liked it, but froze up when Danny admitted to wanting him, which should not be news, okay, that should come as a surprise to no one in this room right now -- and now this. Looking almost aggressive. Like he'd like to drag some other truth out of Danny, get to the bottom of these feelings and quantify them, when they can't be quantified.

And even if he tries to qualify them, saying it doesn't matter what you think or feel, I can't stop it, it doesn't matter. They resist that, too. They always have.

Hie eyebrows are pushing even higher. "Mostly that I don't want to freak you out, okay, you have gotten a little tense and me saying these things probably doesn't help, so, just..."

He's studying him, trying to find the bottom of it, because Steve, why would Steve want to hear any of this? It's what Danny warned him about to begin with, that he doesn't do casual and this is why, because he gets overrun by himself and can't hold it back, gets washed away with no hope of return, and that's fine, but it's his problem, okay, he doesn't want Steve worrying about it. "I don't know, Steve, what do you want me to do? Say I'm not gonna get jealous again? I could do that, but I can tell you right now it'd be a lie. To not want this, you? That's not gonna happen, either, okay, but I am not interested in making it hard on you. That is pretty much the opposite of what I would like this to do."

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